| Yeh |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|08:05 pm] |
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| |  blah | ] |
I haven't updated in a very long time.
1) I took the link out of my AOL profile because I didn't want my little bro to read about me...let alone find out I'm gay. That would be a very bad thing.
2) The new job is going well, but very stressful. My employees are waaaay overpaid, so somehow I have to fix that. They are making $15+/hr and they should be making between $9 and $12 per hour. I have approximately 18 clinics and 2 hospitals, and have already had a few meetings w/the Directors. This whole career thing is kinda weird...but kinda cool at the same time. I get to drive around and meet some "high up" people.
I hired someone yesterday and she accepted the offer. That will help big time.
My boss told me last week that he was going to give me a plam pilot. Lets hope he remembers it on Monday because that would be awesome.
3) School is really stressful right now and I wish I could drop out...but I won't. I have never been one to give up on things and I'm not going to start now. Especially when there are only 3 weeks left.
4) I am buying a new car soon. Most likely when school is over. I want a newer (04 or 05) Toyota Camry. I really like the black one, but silver might be ok too. I also want to tint the windows. If I get a black car, I'll tint them that gloss color. If I get a silver car, I'll tint them black. I think it'll look pretty spiffy.
5) My social life has went out the window and it really sucks. So hopefully once school is over it will be better again.
6) All I want to do lately is sleep. That would be woooooonderful.
I could say a million more things since I haven't updated in a while, but I'll shut up now. If anyone is up for giving me a massage, it would be greatly appreciated. :) |
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| Party |
[Mar. 21st, 2005|08:58 pm] |
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| |  excited | ] |
There is a party at my house on Friday night. If you know where I live, stop by anytime after 8. If you don't know where I live, IM me (megsta12) or call me (414-364-4204). It will be a drunken good time. |
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| Whoa! |
[Mar. 11th, 2005|01:31 am] |
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| |  scared | ] |
After 3 weeks and no phone call, I assumed I wasn't going to get the job. Well...I was wrong.
I got a phone call on Wednesday from this guy in Cleveland. It turned out to be a phone interview and it lasted about a half hour. We talked about a ton of different shit and out of no where he told me I was the leading candidate for the position and that they would be making a decision by the end of the week. So, tonight I got a phone call from the original guy that interviewed me and he offered me the job. It only took me 9 months to find a job.
I'm not sure what my exact job title is, but I think it is Assistant Director. The company is called Smart Document Solutions and they handle release of information for healthcare records. So when a lawyer, doctor, etc, needs medical records, they would call me and I would make sure HIPAA guidelines are met and all the proper paperwork is filled out. I am also supervising a few people...but I don't know how many. I will be working at Waukesha Memorial Hospital, which is cool.
I will be putting in my two week notice tomorrow, which is very scary. I have been at STS for 3.5 years and my time has finally come. Also, I have to tell my professor that I can't work for him anymore. I think he's going to be a sad man because he has a lot of work for me right now. So my first day at the new job will be March 28th.
I'm not sure when, but they are sending me to Cleveland for a week. It's going to be sometime within the next month, so I will be missing school. I will be training at the Cleveland Clinic, which is the 4th best hospital in the country. How intimidating is that?!? The guy that I talked to on Wednesday also told me that they would be giving me my own laptop to do whatever with. I wonder if I will get a cell phone too. I will also have my own health insurance, dental insurance, 401k, paid vacations, and I get to travel. The pay isn't as high as I was hoping for, but it's twice as much as I'm making now. Plus, the perks will make it worth while.
The only problem is that I am scared shitless. I am 21 years old and I am starting my career!!! That doesn't seem right. Man. I am gonna be dressed in business suits everyday...being all professional and shit. I hope I don't make a fool of myself. I hope my employees like me. I hope I don't shit my pants the first day of work due to my nervousness.
And I thought I was stressed before. Holy shit. |
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| Why can't I sleep all day? |
[Feb. 27th, 2005|10:25 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
It has been a week or so since I last updated, and things are pretty much the same.
I went to the Drag Ball last night and it was fun. I realized that I like going there because it's like a gay reunion, and not because I want to see people dressed in drag. How sad is that? Anyways, I saw a shit ton of people and chit chatted w/a lot of them. Also, Shawn proposed to Chris on stage last night and it was adorable. Seeing them two together reminds me of Katie and I. Everytime we saw Chris and Shawn, it was always them as the gay couple, and Katie and I as the lesbian couple.
After the Drag Ball, I met Katie at Out and About and we saw Chris and Shawn there. We talked with them for a while and then went to sit in our own little corner. We sat there and talked the entire time, like we were in our own little world...and it didn't even phase me that I barely talked to my other friends. I just didn't seem to care about anyone else besides Katie. All in all, it was a really good night and we talked about a lot of things that we needed to talk about.
On a side note, I think it's interesting that I keep going to the bar and all I ever order is water. I guess it saved me last weekend when I got pulled over.
Other than that, school had been boring up until last week. Then we were given a visual basic.net project that I have spent hours on...enough to hold another part-time job. I went to the tutor yesterday, but he just made things worse. I was excited for my next class to start because I had been so bored...but not anymore. Pathophysiology starts up tomorrow...which is bad bad bad timing. The one thing I learned about grad school is that there is no way in hell to prepare for whats ahead. It doesn't matter that you write dates down and start on things early...because it's still going to bite you in the ass.
Now it's time to finish up my 10 page milestone for E-Business. :( |
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| I can't believe it! |
[Feb. 17th, 2005|09:02 pm] |
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| |  indifferent | ] |
David (my birth father) e-mailed me last month and told me that his son, John (my half brother), now knows about me. I have been waiting for this for 4 years now, so I was really excited when I found out. His wife Debra already knows about me, and has known about me for years now, but he told me that he was going to tell the rest of his family about me as well. I wrote David back right away, but didn’t get a response until today.
The first paragraph of his e-mail read, “Hopefully you can visit later this year and meet John and Debra. We will pay for your airfare. This is something for you to think about.” So that is awesome news, considering I have always wanted to meet John. This will also be my first time meeting Debra, and second time meeting David. Yes, it will be awkward, but I’m really excited. Also, he did not tell the rest of his family yet.
About 10 minutes later, he sent me another e-mail. Debra e-mailed David in December, and said that he should tell the rest of his family because I deserve to have them in my life. She also drafted up an e-mail to send to the rest of the family. In this e-mail, she said that David had a daughter and said what I was doing with my life. At the end of the letter, she went on to say that they were in the process of re-writing their will to include me. Shocking? Just a bit!!! I cried when I read his letters.
I called my mom right away to share the good news, but it didn’t seem like she was very happy. She was telling me that I shouldn’t let him off the hook so easily and how he ditched me my entire life until now. Which I understand, but damn! My parents think that I am going to ditch them for David and his family, but it’s totally not like that. And I feel like I’ve told them this a million times before, but they don’t believe me. I just want to know where I come from...and I want to meet the people that made me who I am. David and I are so similar, and I really want to learn more about him. Not to mention, I have a brother that has the same blood as me. Man, that’s exciting! It just seems like I don’t have many people to share the excitement with because nobody knows how it feels. I just wish my parents would be happy for me. But since they aren’t, my excitement has turned to sadness...because I don’t want to upset them.
It seemed like my mom was kind of short w/me when I first called her, but she called me back an hour later. I think my parents think that I want David in my life because they weren’t good enough...and that my family wasn’t good enough. My dad has even made comments to me about that before. They didn’t have a big house, they didn’t have enough money, they didn’t give me every single little thing I wanted...but shit, I didn’t want to be a spoiled brat. I got a shit ton of things! I was fortunate to be raised by 3 people (counting my dad that died) that wanted me in their lives. David and Tara didn’t want me...that’s the point of an adoption. And you think I’m stupid enough to throw everything away on someone who didn’t even want me?!?! I don’t think so!
This is so exciting, but if I go through w/it, I know that it will really hurt my parents. WTF?!? :( |
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| What a day |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|01:30 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
I feel like my life is at a complete stand still and no matter what I do, it won't start back up again. Everytime I feel like things are starting to get a bit better...I get pushed right back down. I was going to call my mom at 2am the other day, balling my eyes out. But I decided against it. I don't even think she knows that Katie and I broke up.
I can't do this anymore. I'm so sick of the bullshit. I swear I will never be able to trust anyone again in my entire life. How can people be so cold?!? It kills me to know that some people don't have any morals. GOD, I JUST WANT TO THROW BRICKS AT YOUR CARS!!!! But of course, I would never do that. UGGGHHHHH!!!!
I just want 1 thing to go right in my life right now...and it doesn't even matter what it is. Is that too much to ask for? |
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| Hap hap happy |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|09:33 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
I don't know what it is, but I've been feeling really good lately. I don't know if it's the weather, because I tend to get excited when it gets warmer, but wow! For the first time in a long time, I'm not letting shit affect me like it normally would...and it feels great.
So this guy I know that works at Jewel Osco was held up at gun point Friday night. He was talking to his boyfriend on the phone when the robers came in and demanded money. He dropped the phone and his boyfriend could hear the entire thing. The robers put the gun to his head and cocked it...but luckily they didn't kill him. If that doesn't make your relationship stronger, then I don't know what would.
And finally...I have a crush. Luckily, this person just so happens to be in a similar situation I am in, so it works out very well. We've decided that we are going to talk, but without the commitment. And I must say, I think that's a great idea for both of us right now.
Peace out playas... |
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| It's gonna be a looooong one |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|08:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | okay | ] |
As requested, here is my overdue update...since so much has happened in my life during the past week.
Last week I interviewed for a job at Waukesha Memorial Hospital in their Health Information Management department. My interview went really well and I was told that I would hear back by Monday, the 24th.
Sunday morning, the 23rd, I thought it would be nice to take Katie breakfast. So I spent about $10 and surprised her with it, but she didn't even seem to care. I didn't even get a thank you out of it. I asked her what was up and all she said was, "I've been stressed but I don't want to talk about it." So 8pm rolls around and she decided to stop by. I asked her once again what was on her mind and it turned into a big discussion. So it turns out that her and my best friend had been talking for a few weeks and she told me that they liked each other. So of course, I was upset and ended it on the spot. Well, since I didn't get many details, I assumed it was a minor thing, so it made me a bit easier to forgive them. Considering I didn't get cheated on and I believe in the whole "things happen for a reason" thing. So of course, I'm still really upset, knowing that I also find out about the job the next day.
Monday comes and I find out that I am 1 of 2 final candidates for the position. Which, by the way, I find out about on Friday now. I may have another interview, or I may not. Who wants to pray w/me? Anyways, I didn't want to give in and talk to Katie, but I did anyways. I ended up finding out a lot more info than what was originally told to me and it tore me to pieces. So I swore that I wouldn't talk to either one of them until I was ready to accept the fact that they may date each other.
So yesterday (Tuesday), I read about some remedies to help get over people and the remedies helped out a lot. I started working out again and I listened to a lot of music. Since Katie and I like the same music, I tried to stick to things that I don't normally listen to. I noticed that I started clenching my teeth again, and read that has a lot to do with stress. So I tried ultra hard to relax before I went to bed, and last night it helped out. I also haven't been eating and lost 5 pounds since Sunday, so I'm trying ubber hard to eat more. So I guess I just lost my holiday gut that I was planning on losing. :)
I learned a few things out of this experience. 1) I liked Katie a whole lot more than I realized, or that I was willing to admit. 2) People aren't always who you think they are. 3) No matter how bad someone hurts you, it is extremely hard to get them out of your head. 4) I deserved what was coming to me. 5) I am learning (with a lot of hard work) to focus on my good points, rather than my downfalls. 6) Dwelling on the pain isn't worth it. I have so many other people in my life that don't do those types of things to me. 7) I don't think I will ever trust anyone again...and it sucks. 8) I get taken advantage of a lot. I treat girls way better than how I get treated in return.
So my days have been a bit better, but I almost broke down at work today. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. One second I will feel great (even though it's fake) and the next second I am ready to ball my eyes out. The thing that upsets me the most is that this was the first girl friend I have had in years, and she was taken from me by my best friend. What a great best friend. Forgive and forget? At the moment I am leaning towards never, but I'm sure I will someday.
Does anyone have advice to give??? I sure could use it right now. |
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| hehehe... |
[Jan. 2nd, 2005|08:21 pm] |
What Lesbian Sex Toy Are You?
 You Are Pussy Whip!And you're also kind of pussy whipped. This little oral enhancer is meant for going down. And in three yummy flavors - just like you like your women. Will it be Cherry Rum, Cinnamon Schnapps, or Blackberry Brandy tonight? |
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| NYC Update |
[Dec. 21st, 2004|09:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
Yup, I am finally back and ready to post. Catie took me lots of cool places and it was lots of fun...until our flight was cancelled of course.
Thursday I saw:
Rockefeller Center Ice Rink (very cool)
Central Park Ice Rink (very cool)
Central Park (HUGE)
Madison Square Garden
Radio City Music Hall (that looked awesome)
MTV
NBC
Times Square (sooo many people and it was awesome looking)
Ground Zero (couldn't see much cuz it was dark)
United Nations (pretty cool place)
UN General Assembly
Fireworks while standing on Wall Street (very cool)
Macy's
Grand Central Station
Toys R Us (HUGE, and lots of people)
NASDAQ
Friday I saw:
Brooklyn Bridge
Museum of Sex (kinda weird)
Union Square (good shopping)
NY City Hall
Civic Center
Statue of Liberty (overrated...already saw it before)
Governors Island
Staten Island (the ferry was cool)
Saturday I saw:
Brooklyn (dirty dirty place)
Ocean (Don't travel to the ocean at night or by yourself. It is extremely scary.)
Hell (an awesome gay bar)
Cubby Hole (a neat lesbo bar)
Sunday I saw:
China Town and Canal Street (cool place)
Times Square again
This girls apartment (really cool place)
Monday:
As we were getting ready to leave, Catie and I got phone calls at the exact same time. Mine said that the flight was cancelled (10:30am flight) and my new flight was at 8:20pm. So I was pissy. She called back to find out her time and they said it was at 11am, going to Minn first. So after some thinking, I went to the airport w/her to see if I could fly standby. They ended up putting me on a flight to Memphis and then to Milwaukee. I finally got home at 4pm and she got home at 6:30pm. I love how we were originally on the same flight, but then she ended up in Minniapolis and I ended up in Memphis. Odd? Yeh, I think so.
Other than that, I didn't get the scholarship I applied for..I didn't get the job I interviewed for...and I didn't get the internship. It's very depressing to work your ass off and not get anything out of it. All I want is a chance to prove myself...but obviously nobody wants to give me that chance. I always saw myself succeeding in life, but lately I keep getting pushed down. I'm on the verge of giving up because nothing seems to be working. Why do the slackers always succeed? Anybody willing to offer some advice? |
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